Love Is A Listener: Opening Our Hearts To the Truth of Others

My friend, Mary Lou, once told me I taught her how to be a good listener. This surprised me. Not because I don't strive to listen to others in a fully-embodied way, but because she was the one who had shaped how I am as a listener years before.

Our friendship has spanned the course of decades even though we have rarely lived in the same state. Though there are few relationships I trust, I knew on a deep level Mary Lou was (and is) always going to be a part of my life. Her constant, steady support has allowed me to grow. Her only expectation of me is that she has no expectations for me.

On occasion, the stars align for us and we get to see each other in person. If we are really fortunate, we will meet up at Kripalu (a yoga center in Stockbridge, MA). The first time we met there years ago, beyond how incredible it was to be among other spiritual seekers in this magnificent setting, I couldn't believe how at ease I was when I spoke with her. Whatever was in my heart or on my mind just spilled out around us like a puddle of vulnerability. Mary Lou could have stomped her foot in the middle of it and splashed away any sense of safety I had, but instead she honored it. She did this through one remarkable act. She did this by listening to me without judgment.

Did I say everything right? Of course not. Did I fumble for words at times as I searched to express the complexities of my interior world? Absolutely.

None of that mattered. What mattered was the communication beneath the surface was an open doorway of acceptance that flowed in both directions.

I have never forgotten that experience. It showed me that I didn't have to be perfect to be seen or heard. It showed me I could make mistakes, say awkward things, and still be unequivocally loved.

Being listened to in this way changes who we are. When we feel validated, we find our confidence to handle life's challenges. If you ever want to help someone in a seemingly impossible situation, listen to them with your whole being. This is the highest form of reverence you can offer another. This is love personified.

It takes courage to be a good listener. It takes mindfulness and self-awareness. It takes skill to allow others their humanness because this means you have come to regard your own humanity with care. I can only love and accept you as much as I am willing to love and accept myself. Therefore, the quickest real-world route to awakening is to simply listen.

The quieter we become in the presence of others, the louder the love will be felt between us.

Get quiet.

Listen.

What might meet us there?

Only everything.

Inward & Onward,